How to Pick Up a Girl

You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive. But nobody to introduce her to you. 'Ah, I'll do a James Bond on her,' you think. Now what was Bond's first words to Pussy Galore? 'I must be dreaming.' No, that won't work. How about singing 'Underneath the Mango Tree' to her as Bond did to Honey Rider in 'Dr. No'. Ah? No! Well, what's left? You'll just have to go up and talk to her, if it's a situation where you won't see her again. But it's always safe to assume that she has a boyfriend that can squeeze the stuffings out of a gold ball. That aside, take a chance and make polite conversation. What's the worst that can happen. She says, 'I'm sorry, I'm not available.' and you save the time and money of a date with her. Like George Burns says, 'When a beautiful woman says 'no' to me, it's a relief.

If you know that you will see her again, like at your university, your job, or working at a restaurant, you can have another shot at her and use the shy man's approach to getting a date.

'You farm boys don'ts make a pitch, you just shy your way into position,' Ann Margaret says to Pat Boone in 'State Fair'.

Okay, here it is. Instead of asking her to dinner or out on a date which has romance intended, get some tickets to a concert or event first, and then with tickets in hand say, 'I just happened to have tickets to this event. If you'd like to go with me, I'd be happy to take you.' This way the subject is the event. Talk about the person singing at the concert, instead of if the two of you could hit it off or not. She can easily say yes or no, or ask more questions about you or the time and place of the event. She doesn't have the pressure of turning you down, so she can just turn the event down and that will be that. And if by chance she can't make that date, but is interested in you, she can start talking about going out another time.

I've strongly suggested this 'ticket' technique to both men and women who are infatuated with someone at work, or at shop, or restaurant, and have no idea how to make an approach. If the person is available, they usually say yes to an invitation. After all, it's just going to an event. It's not really a date.

I used this 'ticket' technique in college to ask out a beautiful stranger. I was very shy, but was 'in love' from a distance so I had to take some kind of scary attraction. Her name was Cindy and I often saw her in the student lounge surrounded by guys. It took weeks of watching her before I could catch her walking alone, and ask her if she'd like to go see the reserved seat Cinerama showing of 'Grand Prix'. She said, 'Well, I don't know you, but if you come and talk to me sometimes and I get to know you, then maybe.'

So in the next days I made an attempts at getting in a few words with her as she talked with her friends. Then I found out she was taking the film appreciation class that I had taken a semester earlier. So I pushed the teacher to show my new 16mm action film in the class that she was in. He fiqured I had a secret motive because he said he'd show it in the morning class, but I said it had to be shown in the afternoon class (the one Cindy was in). Finally, he agreed.

I not only directed the film, but had a part in it where I used my newly learned karate and hoped she would be impressed. The film went over great with the class cheering and applauding. As she was leaving the class I said to her, 'Well, do you know me well enough now?' She said, 'To go out with you? I replied, 'Yes.' She smilled and nodded her head yes. So don't 'ask her out'. Don't 'take her to dinner'. Get some tickets, and maybe she'll answer you like Cameron Diaz does in 'Charlie's Angels'. 'Tickets? I love tickets!'

Difference Styles in Leadership

Professor Bhiku Pareskh, from the Centre for the Study of Democracy at the University of Westminster once said:

Diversity is a fact of modern life. It is an unavoidable fact of life because not all differences can be rationally and conclusively resolve. It is also an important source of moral, economic and social energy. It brings together different ways of looking at life and therefore enables us to learn from others and deepen our insights into human life.

Coming from a country where there is a population of 1.5 million, from Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Shango and all the mixes in between with as many permutations of ethnicity possible, I must admit, diversity was a hard concept for me to grasp! I had to ask- what is diversity? This reminds me of filling out the boxes at the end of an enrolment form as I always wonder why there is not a box for those who have to figure out whether they are BC, BA, AB, who simply identify themselves as H for human!

So when did this term become so popular? The simple answer for me sometime when economics began to make it viable. Cynical? Well, perhaps a little. After all there have been government mandates on Equal Opportunities, quotas and the like. And why has the business sector embraced diversity? One could delve into recent research showing that 80% of 140 UK organisations view the development of diversity as a key contributor to their overall business success. Direct benefits include better recruitment, improved understanding of markets and communities, increased retention, enhanced reputation to cite a few.
Organisations in the voluntary and public sectors may be more focussed on fairness and justice as motivating factors for embracing diversity, consistent with their beliefs and values.
Whichever way organisations and companies broach the subject, simply having policies in place is not sufficient to ensure successful implementation. It is indeed, the depth of integration into any strategy that produces success.

So how does Leadership fit into the diversity agenda?

Leadership is quite simply critical in taking forward the diversity agenda. Leaders need to know how to manage and create culture, along with setting strategy for the future that incorporates a diverse workforce for the benefits of individuals and the organisations key objectives. To have positive performance outcomes of diversity in Leadership, one needs leaders who:
Are skilled in communicating with and coordinating among members of diverse teams
Are good at dealing with group process issues ie. Problem solving and communicating without prejudice
Can build on teams creativity and innovation, even if it does not look like anything to which we are traditionally accustomed.

To gain value from diversity in leadership requires a sustained, systematic approach and long-term commitment. Success is further facilitated by a perspective that considers diversity to be an opportunity for everyone: an opportunity to learn from each other how better to accomplish great achievements.